Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
