her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Send help, water and tortillas.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
