You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
