it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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