moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Randomize
