In the future we'll all be gay
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
