Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
