this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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