i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
