what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
