Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
