go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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