I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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