i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
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