I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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