No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
My dick has a subreddit
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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