I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
