I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
