His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
