just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
