Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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