i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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