dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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