I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
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