nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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