mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
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