called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
