Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
