I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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