u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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