is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Randomize
