I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
