The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
