Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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