I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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