We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
