I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Randomize
