I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize
