and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
