She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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