I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
