Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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