OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
