I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
