My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Randomize
