you turned your livingroom into a bong?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Who died my cat blue again?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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