Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
so much tequila, so little girl.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
