I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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