nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
