therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
