the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I haven't been this sober since birth.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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