What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
