we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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