I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
We're too hungover to prance.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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