i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Randomize
