Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
