the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
She said her name was "party"
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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